We are young, we don't know what is happening.
We think there are better opportunities for us in the near future, just put into our effort, we can get some results out of it.
We are determinant, we are strong, we are goal-oriented.

We, forget to enjoy life.
We, forget to see the blue sky, to smell the blooming flowers, to enjoy a small icecream.
We, forget to laugh, forget to cry, forget to appreciate the beautiful nature.


In the end, when you are dying.
Do you see your life scenes passing in front of you.
or you see the countless hours for the nonsense.
you might see your children sweat dreams,
or the love of your life?

This is really a hard time, suffered too much because of my struggle. For several weeks I thought I had depression.

I struggle for something that might not belong to me, I wanted so much, that is why I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. I did not realize I am this type. Funny thing is, I don't know who I am, how did I get myself into this. I thought I am B negative, B should not be like this. Everything is just not that important, so you just can not have them all.

Everytime I love one song, or something, or a movie, I tend to watch or listen it for so many times until I get sick of it. How extreme is this. I need some passion to remind me, that I exist, that I am not alone.

Is it life is the same everywhere? Won't the change of language or country make a difference? I now understand all the people seeking for a peaceful land, with the spirit of freedom and fairness. A world without prejudice would be so much better. This hits me so hard, like shock in my head, like a ligtening in the sky.